“It is said that before entering the sea a river trembles with fear.
She looks back at the path she has traveled, from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her, she sees an ocean so vast, that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river cannot go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear, because that’s where the river will know it’s not about disappearing into the ocean, but of becoming the ocean.
”

— Kahlil Gibran

I saw the poem above in a recent blog post by Gretchen Schmelzer. She is a psychologist and writes a column on trauma and healing (Posts from the Trail). She is a very good friend of another good friend of mine, which is how I first became acquainted with her. In fact, she mentions this friend of mine in that post, although she is not named. Gretchen’s post is entitled “Purpose as a way to heal and grow”, you can find the link here if you want to read it. The post is about the importance of having a purpose to guide your life and decision making.

But the poem struck me in other ways, I have been thinking about politics a lot lately, how could you not? But also the passage of time and aging. It feels a bit like hurtling through space at the moment, without a lifeline or jacket. Our current weather…grey skies, cold and rain make me introspective and a little depressed. We live near the ocean and I walk beside it almost every day. It’s comforting to think of becoming it.

I don’t understand the divisions in our country right now. Another blog I read frequently detailed  the isolation of living within a household or neighborhood where your politics are in direct contrast and conflict with other family members, friends, and your community. How could you manage that? My heart bled for her.

I don’t have any answers.

I only know what comforts me. Here’s a partial list, in no particular order:

• A pat on the back or a “well done” from my partner or a friend.
• Hugs
• A cuddle with one of our dogs
• Smiles
• Games, I am addicted to starting the day with Wordle and the NY Times Spelling Bee. It’s an opportunity to check in with my fellow addicts and friends around the country.
• A cup of tea on the deck in the sun (I will have to wait awhile for that one)
• A long walk by the ocean, even in the rain
• An unexpected invitation to a meal out somewhere
• A long talk, preferably over a glass of wine, with a good friend
• A movie with a happy ending, especially a romcom
• A challenging exercise class, I love the post workout endorphins
• A weekend away
• Soup
• A clean house with everything put away
• Brainstorming with a group of like minded individuals, solving problems creatively
• Spending long quiet hours in the garden by myself and getting grubby
• Watching plants grow and flower as the seasons change
• Making a salad or meal entirely out of what I have harvested from my garden
• A BBQ, anytime and anywhere
• Fresh flowers in a vase
• A new cookbook
• Bookstores
• New shoes
• Dancing
• A hot bubble bath with a good book and a glass of champagne
• Herbal tea at bedtime

Once I started writing them down, I realized that it’s a long list and I could go on. I actually feel comforted just reading over the list.

What are your go-to comforts?

I realize this is a departure from my usual postings. Please bear with me, In My Kitchen and Garden is on the way to publication soon.

Hellebores

Liz